do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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