Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
