C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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