I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she smelled like a LAN party
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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