So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
