she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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