Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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