I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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