I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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