So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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