He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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