I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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