how can u be prego again
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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