Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
