i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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