Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize