I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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