I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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