i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to stop coming to work sober
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
