okay pat passed out under dana's car
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.