Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

so... how was it???

(317): View more from Indiana

he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy

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(812): so... how was it??? (317): he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy http://tfl.nu/a6k1

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(718): View more from New York

"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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(718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo

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(760): View more from California

She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

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(760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/eh4f

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(813): View more from Florida

Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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(813): Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house. http://tfl.nu/ztm5

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(703): View more from Virginia

He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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(703): He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days. http://tfl.nu/iucs

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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(724): i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand. http://tfl.nu/fmi9

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(647): View more from Ontario

I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.

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(647): I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life. http://tfl.nu/xuzg

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(440): View more from Ohio

Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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(440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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(814): bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles. http://tfl.nu/uozt

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(708): View more from Illinois

I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

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(708): I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality http://tfl.nu/1jam

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(303): View more from Colorado

She's just so happy...and so naked.

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(303): She's just so happy...and so naked. http://tfl.nu/5upc

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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(403): We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/dgmw

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

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(901): You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants." http://tfl.nu/f9vw

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(515): View more from Iowa

I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.

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(515): I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head. http://tfl.nu/kz5k

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Is cat milk safe for human consumption?

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(215): Is cat milk safe for human consumption? http://tfl.nu/mjye

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