Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

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  (608): and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed http://tfl.nu/yzqp
  Replies (9) Good night (1136) Bad night (3130)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The Rock won.

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  (505): We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive. (505): The Rock won. http://tfl.nu/hvm5
  Replies (32) Good night (751) Bad night (1026)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

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  (203): You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi. http://tfl.nu/yrsa
  Replies (15) Good night (3174) Bad night (621)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.

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  (630): I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something. http://tfl.nu/fnx9
  Replies (5) Good night (2180) Bad night (533)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

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  (503): I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight. http://tfl.nu/6osy
  Replies (37) Good night (5717) Bad night (628)
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  (408): View more from California

  I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

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  (408): I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on http://tfl.nu/ydv9
  Replies (7) Good night (4692) Bad night (980)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game

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  (304): But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game http://tfl.nu/osln
  Replies (23) Good night (5721) Bad night (986)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something

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  (567): He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something http://tfl.nu/zff9
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (554)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all

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  (434): It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all http://tfl.nu/veuh
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (290)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running

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  (775): What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running http://tfl.nu/dwtn
  Replies (7) Good night (477) Bad night (1343)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.

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  (865): This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned. http://tfl.nu/k9mr
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (296)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.

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  (305): No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen. http://tfl.nu/b2oj
  Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (247)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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  (250): You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is. http://tfl.nu/r86g
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (267)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.

  (801): View more from Utah

  The girl neighbor.

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  (801): The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis. (801): The girl neighbor. http://tfl.nu/zc5m
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (275)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.

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  (250): Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/75a5
  Replies (0) Good night (666) Bad night (308)

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