people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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