Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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