she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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