I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
