And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
