Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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