Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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