i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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