I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
