Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
