What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
