whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
