I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
