I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize