chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
