I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
