I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I love you. Go after that dick
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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