wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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