As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
