Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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