I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
