So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
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Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm drunk and he's still weird.