It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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