hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
