My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
