Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
