This is not my ceiling
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
