That's intense
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
