sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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