it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize