i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Enjoy the penises
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
