Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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