I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
