I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
