She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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