Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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