i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
