p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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