she peed on how many people?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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