There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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