Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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