i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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