yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
