You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
