she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
