i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
